My Kids Will Never Act Like That and Neither Will I - Ha!

As a Florida resident and Disney annual pass holder we frequent the place where "dreams come true" often. Pre-children, a trip to the "happiest place on Earth" was just a wee bit less complicated and usually delivered a "happy" time. It was also a time for Matt and I to observe other families and say the famous lines, "our children will never act like that!" If you have children, you know why this is funny. If you don't,  keep saying it. Reality will strike you down one day.

Trips to Disney these days include: a 2 year old and a 7 month old, a double stroller, a camera bag, and 2 gigantic bags of stuff. "Stuff" includes but is not limited to: diapers, wipes, baby food, puffs, spoons, bibs, protection place mats that stick to tables to keep the germs at bay, sanitizer, multiple changes of clothes for all children, snacks, sippy cups, baggies created just for accidents (some even smell powder now), toys, teething toys, Band-Aids, and a Moby (baby wrap so you can strap a child to you). I also utilize our bags for my own stuff which may include: lip gloss, a wallet, sunglasses, grown up snacks, an extra shirt (just incase), keys, & a phone. While the majority of the time we have a great time at Disney regardless of the effort it takes to get there, get in, and to make sure everyone is fed, changed, and happy it's worth it to us. Our 2 year old is a pretty big Mickey fan and that's an understatement! We do realize that he will soon need a lesson on idolatry, but we are holding on to the fact that each night when we pray Landon chooses to thank God first, for Jesus and then for Mickey and Elmo, but I digress!

I've always said even before we had children that it makes me laugh when parents try to force their children to do things that their children could really care less about. Let me give you an example.

Child: Mommy, I'm so hungry and thirsty and I really have to go potty.

Parent: Honey, we've only got 45 minutes left in this line! We have to get a family picture with Mickey! Aren't you excited to see him?? We came all this way just for you to see him.

Child: I'm still hungry, mommy and it's okay if we don't see Mickey.

Parent: Well, I can't do anything for you. You're just going to have to wait. We didn't come this far for you to whine the whole time!

45 minutes later: Screaming child who wants nothing to do with Mickey. Embarrassed and angry parent who scolds child for acting like a baby.

In my own opinion that parent set them self up. The whole situation could have changed if the parent made sure the child's basic needs were taken care of before forcing them into something they didn't really care about in the first place.

Here's another example and this one is a true story! I witnessed this at the Animal Kingdom just as the parade was starting.

Parent: Don't go to sleep!! Wake up!! WAKE UP!! We've been sitting here waiting for the parade and you're not going to miss it now! Wake up!!

Child in stroller: No words. (Gives the parent a look and eyes roll back into head out of sheer exhaustion - almost like when you just can't help falling asleep).

Parent: WAKE UP! (At this point the man starts lightly slapping the child in the face trying to get him to wake up).

I could not believe my eyes!

I think that sometimes we get our roles as parents mixed up. We try to be the event coordinator to our children's lives! We live for these perfect little moments that turn into disasters because we forget what's most important for our children. We get so wrapped up in it all that we forget to feed them, or change them, or remember that they didn't get their usual nap in and that the crankyness may be kicked up a notch. We forget that they're 2 and we just can't understand why in the world they are acting out.

Today I found myself in a couple of these moments with our 2 year old, Landon. We decided to go to Hollywood Studios to see the Osborne Family Spectacle of Lights. We figured we'd catch the usual Playhouse Disney show and maybe go see Mickey and the other characters too. During the Playhouse Disney show (which we've sat through so many times before) Landon suddenly starts crying, almost screaming and saying, "I'm scared." Matt quickly hugs him and I say, "Honey, you love this show. Sit down and watch it. You're not scared. There's nothing to be scared of." He says back, "Out there, out there," while pointing to the doors. Followed by, "Go, go, I scared." Matt asked him if he wanted to see Tiger and Pooh and he said yes, so we told him we'd have to stay if he wanted to see them. Landon settled for a minute or two and then resorted back to, "I scared," while screaming at the top of his lungs in terror. We got up and left.

We went and visited Mickey next and Landon was great. He gave Mickey a huge hug and saw a couple other characters. The park was busy though, and the lines were long so we tried scooting out on some of the characters without him noticing. He noticed and tried pulling me toward them, but I said, "It's okay honey, we'll see them next time. We're going to see the lights!" Landon wasn't too insistent but he did express to us that he would like to stay and see more characters. We didn't.

When we finally got to the lights. The place was packed full of people and the music was playing loud. Landon again started screaming at the top of his lungs. He jumped out of the stroller into my arms and wanted to go. We couldn't understand what was going on. He never acted like this and we thought he would love it. He's seen it twice before when he was younger and had so much fun, but he was not digging it this time. We tried to stay, but he just kept screaming and asking to go and telling us he was scared. We left.

It wasn't until we were on our way home and Landon was holding my hand that I realized I was trying to be a controlling (force it on you) kind of parent. I felt so guilty. There were some other factors that played into his behavior that I missed too. The kid was hungry. It was a couple hours past dinner when we finally did eat after leaving the lights in a panic. He was tired too. He woke up at 5 this morning and caught an early nap.He was almost ready for bed by this point. During the Playhouse Disney show I tried telling him that he wasn't scared and that there was nothing to be afraid of, but seriously how do I know what he is or isn't afraid of? I also tried telling him he loves the show, but really, maybe he doesn't. Maybe he's getting old enough to express himself enough to say, "hey, I want to go." On top of all of that, one of the things he wanted to do, (see more characters) we didn't do. And of course, we then forced him into something he didn't want to do at all. None of this crossed my mind in the moment. My poor baby!

Tomorrow I'm going to make it up to him by giving him a bit of a lazy, you choose day. (I didn't plan on making it to church with the kids anyway since they've both had runny noses and coughs and we didn't want to spread the wealth to our Sunday school classes). While I completely believe in boundaries, rules, and consistency, I also believe in having some fun and letting our kids learn how to make some choices of their own even if that does mean watching a couple of shows in the morning (not a big fan of letting them watch TV, but they love it). I'm also going to be a lot more committed to evaluating situations like these before I react. At the age of 2, the world is so different. It can be a lot more scary and can be very confusing. Our children give us cues or try to tell us when they are uncomfortable or need us and I think too often, we miss it. I'm making it my goal from here on out not to not miss it for my children. They need me to be a parent to them, not the event coordinator I was being today.

Ever seen a crazy situation play out between a parent and a child like the ones I described above? What are your thoughts on this? How do you handle situations like these? Would love to hear from you other parents out there!


*Disclaimer: If you know me, you know I have issues with typos. My editor is asleep next to me, so I apologize ahead of time if you find any.