So I've been on this reading kick lately. I have always loved to read, but seriously, I am blowing through books these days. I enjoy reading all kinds of books... fiction, non fiction, devotions, some by christian authors, some not, I just really enjoy curling up with a good book!
This week, I've decided to get a spread sheet of "books I've completed" started and I'm pretty excited about it. Having this will help me keep track of the books/authors I've enjoyed (or haven't) and will also help when someone asks for a recommendation. (I have this forgetful side and book titles falls hard into this side of me.)
After I finished the Hunger Games Trilogy, (Yes, I read them. Yes, I enjoyed them. And yes, my excuse is that I read them because my husband is a youth pastor. I have to stay relevant, okay?) I was looking for something else to start. I checked out the New York Times Best Sellers List and was kind of intrigued by the 50 Shades books. I researched a little, to see what they were about, and discovered that the books are a bit racy. I talked with a few people who had read them and seriously started seeing the books everywhere, so I had sort of made my mind up that I would read them too... I mean, after all, I have to stay relevant right? I'm not writing this blog to knock the books or anyone who has read or will read them, but I will say after much consideration that I have decided not to read them. It's funny too, because the night I was going to download it I had dinner with a couple of other pastor's wives (we have to stick together you know). We were talking book titles and a few stood out to me. I felt a tug on my heart to choose one of those instead and so I did... and out of that one small decision comes this blog post!
With all that said, since then I have read a couple of other books and feel even more convicted that I should not read the 50 shades books. The two books I am so glad that I choose (which came recommended by one of the other pastor's wives) were And the Shofar Blew and The Scarlet Thread. I can not even begin to tell you how blessed I feel to have picked those books over what I feel I may have gotten into with the other choice. Both of these books are by Francine Rivers (most known by her novel Redeeming Love, which I also recommend). These are both christian novels which contain prayers and scripture while focusing on fiction characters going through all of the same struggles many christian families today face. The books are tastefully written and refreshingly not corn ball!
After reflecting on it, I completely feel like the Holy Spirit was what was tugging on my heart to make the choices to read these two novels instead of the others I know I was being tempted to read. There are other obvious things I am doing in my life to try to be a better wife, mother, friend and all around me, but I feel like these books were the perfect escape at the end of the day yet also sent some pretty strong convictions right into my soul.
One being to love and respect my husband with every part of my being. I won't go on too much of a rant here but I feel as though this generation is missing out big time on this. It's so easy especially for stay at home moms or even working moms for that matter to begin to resent their husband and slip into a daily pity party. Love is a choice and as for me and my heart & mind I will choose to love my husband every chance that I get for as long as I get to.
The other message I felt so strongly from both of these books is that time goes by and kids grow up. Petty things don't matter, but the hearts of our children do and playing with them now while they still want us too is so important. I don't want to wake up and wish I had these moments back with them. I attended a high school graduation today and was teary eyed already thinking of my babies walking across the stage to receive a diploma and while that seems almost ridiculous, time goes by and I want the time I spend with my children to forever impact the choices they make and the people they are.
I guess I say all of this to prompt you to feel the little tug on your heart and to hear the little voice in your head because it's more than just a tug or a voice, it's God speaking to you and you have no idea what he may have in store for you and your family if you listen.
Yes, I know that the title of this post is really corny and I use a lot of "churchy talk" in this particular post, but I genuinely mean what I write and I hope that I never turn anyone away from Jesus by the things I write, say or do.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
10 Year Runion... What the What??
What the what?? 10 year reunion? Has it really been that long already?? Crazy at it seems, it has been 10 years this month since I walked across that stage, moved my tassel from the right to the left, and threw my cap as high as I could to celebrate those 13 long years of my life.
It seems even more crazy to me that it's been almost 14 years since I walked the hallways of the "old" Lake Brantley High School as a young and naive girl of 14 who thought she had it all figured out. I can close my eyes and still picture so clearly the spot where my locker was. I remember the friends who all had their lockers in the same place and how could I forget exactly who I would wait for to pass by as I fidgeted around for books and stood there hoping he'd see me.
It's amazing to me, how quickly I can remember the smallest details of my life 14 years ago and sometimes I can't believe just how much can change over the course of 4 years of life... and how much more after 10 years. Looking back knowing what I know now it's hard not to want to shake some sense into the girl I was then. Those first two years of high school could've really done some damage, and in some ways they certainly did, but I got off easy. I can reflect on it all now and see God's hand firmly placed in my life, protecting me in SO many ways. There is no other explanation for the way my life took so many amazing turns, that I walked through the right doors and pasted by the ones that would've done me so much harm, and that I find myself where I am today and not where I was on my way to those first two years. All these years later I'm still thanking God his protection.
It's hard not to say I have regrets because I do. Regrets of things I did and things I didn't, things I said, or maybe should've, but that's part of life. It's also hard to say that I'd go back and change a thing because I do believe where I was (and was going) got me to where I am today. Had I not gone through a lot of what I did those first two years, I may not have had a reason to search for something more. I can remember when things changed for me. I was finishing up my Sophomore year. Still so young and so caught up in things (and people) I shouldn't have been caught up in. There was a breaking point for me. I'm not sure that it was just one thing that triggered it, but I can remember suddenly feeling so broken and so alone. I can remember crying like a baby, curled up in a fetal position on the floor of my old bedroom, so torn up about boys, friends, drama and the way things were going for me. I felt so empty and unsatisfied with life in general and I couldn't figure out why. It wasn't too long after that slight breakdown that I started attending a youth group regularly with a friend of a friend (who I still talk to today) and it didn't take me too long after that to figure out that I was feeling a purpose, had excitement, and was full of life again. People cared about me (like really cared about me) there, I felt like I could be more of who I was and I didn't feel all of the pressure I once had to do things I didn't want to do, in places I should not have been, with people who had the ability to crush me. I didn't look back much on who I had been after that. The summer before my Junior year, God changed me.
The next two years of high school are the years I love remembering. Do I still have regrets, well, yes of course, but not nearly as many and most not as serious as the ones from the prior years. My Junior and Senior years of high school are some of the best memories of my youth and what I love most about them is that almost all of them include the man that I married and so many of the people who are still in our lives today. It's so fun to go back and read the things that I wrote to Matt in his yearbooks. I shared so many of the memories in them that I still hold dear to my heart. It makes me smile to think of the good times we shared and that we'll share them together for the rest of our lives.
These past 10 years in some ways have flown by and in other ways (especially looking back now) seemed to have gone by at just the right speed. I feel so distant from that young girl of 14 who once walked the halls of the "old" LBHS. I'm a married woman of almost 7 years (to an amazing man of God who I've been lucky enough to call mine for the past 11 years). I'm a college graduate with a BA in Elementary Education (which I plan to use to educate my kiddies from home with), a mommy of 2 of the most ridiculously awesome little people I've ever met, and so full of joy which comes only from the hope that I have in a Savior who I am head over heels for. I'm so satisfied with the life God has given me and with the direction in which He choose for me and while I have my faults I know that everyday, if I look to Him, I am headed in the right direction, toward becoming all He ever created me to be.
Reality is, time goes by. Coming up to 30 and really reflecting over my high school years and the 10 years to follow has been fun for me. I am beyond blessed and there is no where else I would want to be in my life then where I am today. And as time goes on, I hope I always find myself feeling that way.
It's amazing to me how much wisdom comes with years gone by and an open heart ready to listen to the Word of God. Thank you, Lord for saving me when I so desperately needed saving.
I'm undecided if I'll be attending my 10 year reunion, but here's to the memories (the good and the bad) and to the next 10 years c/o 2002!
It would be unfair for me to write this and not say anything to anyone who is feeling now how I felt toward the end of my sophomore year. I'm not a preacher by any means, but I feel like I should say if you are broken, empty, or unsatisfied with life maybe you could give Jesus a try. Corny as it sounds I can promise He won't disappoint. The things I have seen happen over the past 12 years could only be possible through an all powerful, all knowing, almighty God. If you're searching for something, give Him a try and please feel free to contact me. I don't claim to have all the answers and don't know that I ever will, but I know a God who can do some pretty awesome things. I love Jeremiah 29:11 because I can look back now and see it so clearly at work in my life. "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope." If you're feeling hopeless, I pray that you will turn to God and that you will find all you've ever been searching for.
It seems even more crazy to me that it's been almost 14 years since I walked the hallways of the "old" Lake Brantley High School as a young and naive girl of 14 who thought she had it all figured out. I can close my eyes and still picture so clearly the spot where my locker was. I remember the friends who all had their lockers in the same place and how could I forget exactly who I would wait for to pass by as I fidgeted around for books and stood there hoping he'd see me.
It's amazing to me, how quickly I can remember the smallest details of my life 14 years ago and sometimes I can't believe just how much can change over the course of 4 years of life... and how much more after 10 years. Looking back knowing what I know now it's hard not to want to shake some sense into the girl I was then. Those first two years of high school could've really done some damage, and in some ways they certainly did, but I got off easy. I can reflect on it all now and see God's hand firmly placed in my life, protecting me in SO many ways. There is no other explanation for the way my life took so many amazing turns, that I walked through the right doors and pasted by the ones that would've done me so much harm, and that I find myself where I am today and not where I was on my way to those first two years. All these years later I'm still thanking God his protection.
It's hard not to say I have regrets because I do. Regrets of things I did and things I didn't, things I said, or maybe should've, but that's part of life. It's also hard to say that I'd go back and change a thing because I do believe where I was (and was going) got me to where I am today. Had I not gone through a lot of what I did those first two years, I may not have had a reason to search for something more. I can remember when things changed for me. I was finishing up my Sophomore year. Still so young and so caught up in things (and people) I shouldn't have been caught up in. There was a breaking point for me. I'm not sure that it was just one thing that triggered it, but I can remember suddenly feeling so broken and so alone. I can remember crying like a baby, curled up in a fetal position on the floor of my old bedroom, so torn up about boys, friends, drama and the way things were going for me. I felt so empty and unsatisfied with life in general and I couldn't figure out why. It wasn't too long after that slight breakdown that I started attending a youth group regularly with a friend of a friend (who I still talk to today) and it didn't take me too long after that to figure out that I was feeling a purpose, had excitement, and was full of life again. People cared about me (like really cared about me) there, I felt like I could be more of who I was and I didn't feel all of the pressure I once had to do things I didn't want to do, in places I should not have been, with people who had the ability to crush me. I didn't look back much on who I had been after that. The summer before my Junior year, God changed me.
The next two years of high school are the years I love remembering. Do I still have regrets, well, yes of course, but not nearly as many and most not as serious as the ones from the prior years. My Junior and Senior years of high school are some of the best memories of my youth and what I love most about them is that almost all of them include the man that I married and so many of the people who are still in our lives today. It's so fun to go back and read the things that I wrote to Matt in his yearbooks. I shared so many of the memories in them that I still hold dear to my heart. It makes me smile to think of the good times we shared and that we'll share them together for the rest of our lives.
These past 10 years in some ways have flown by and in other ways (especially looking back now) seemed to have gone by at just the right speed. I feel so distant from that young girl of 14 who once walked the halls of the "old" LBHS. I'm a married woman of almost 7 years (to an amazing man of God who I've been lucky enough to call mine for the past 11 years). I'm a college graduate with a BA in Elementary Education (which I plan to use to educate my kiddies from home with), a mommy of 2 of the most ridiculously awesome little people I've ever met, and so full of joy which comes only from the hope that I have in a Savior who I am head over heels for. I'm so satisfied with the life God has given me and with the direction in which He choose for me and while I have my faults I know that everyday, if I look to Him, I am headed in the right direction, toward becoming all He ever created me to be.
Reality is, time goes by. Coming up to 30 and really reflecting over my high school years and the 10 years to follow has been fun for me. I am beyond blessed and there is no where else I would want to be in my life then where I am today. And as time goes on, I hope I always find myself feeling that way.
It's amazing to me how much wisdom comes with years gone by and an open heart ready to listen to the Word of God. Thank you, Lord for saving me when I so desperately needed saving.
I'm undecided if I'll be attending my 10 year reunion, but here's to the memories (the good and the bad) and to the next 10 years c/o 2002!
It would be unfair for me to write this and not say anything to anyone who is feeling now how I felt toward the end of my sophomore year. I'm not a preacher by any means, but I feel like I should say if you are broken, empty, or unsatisfied with life maybe you could give Jesus a try. Corny as it sounds I can promise He won't disappoint. The things I have seen happen over the past 12 years could only be possible through an all powerful, all knowing, almighty God. If you're searching for something, give Him a try and please feel free to contact me. I don't claim to have all the answers and don't know that I ever will, but I know a God who can do some pretty awesome things. I love Jeremiah 29:11 because I can look back now and see it so clearly at work in my life. "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope." If you're feeling hopeless, I pray that you will turn to God and that you will find all you've ever been searching for.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Love to Write... Write to Love.
Sometimes I wish I could just do all my communicating through written words. Writing has always been the easiest way for me to get my thoughts out and together in a way that seems to make the most sense. It's almost like a filter or a way for me to plan out how I feel or see things before it all comes flying out of my mouth. I have a thinking before speaking problem. My problem is that I just don't tend to do it. Ask my husband, my children or my mother and I'm sure they wouldn't have a problem disagreeing with my confession. Writing just makes thinking before expression so easy for me because all the thoughts that I have put into words become so delete-able after I've reread them, rethought about them, and had a moment to decide that they are inappropriate, unnecessary, or not rooted in love. It's also so much easier to add in the things that I've forgotten to say or feel the need to add in so that what I've written seems complete to me.
I constantly reflect. Reflect about the past, reflect about the present, and want to make sure that when I look back I have no regrets. Being able to go back and reread my thoughts, what I've written or what has been written to me is so much easier then remembering or replaying a conversation in my head. Words are so easily twisted, changed or left out when reflecting on a verbal convo or confrontation, but when they're right there in front of you on paper or a screen there is no swaying from what was said or wasn't. It's funny too because as I'm writing this I'm shaking my head yes in agreement with myself. I can't help it, I just love to write!
Now don't get me wrong, obviously the world and it's use of media (facebook, text messaging, email, etc.) has gotten a little out of hand. The generation rising up is going to have a lot of relationship issues because they're breaking up and making up all through texts or fb relationship statuses, but this isn't what I'm talking about. Once again ask my husband, he'll tell you, I like to talk too and I can appreciate a face to face conversation. I especially love/need phone calls from my mom and my mommy friends frequently just to get some good ol' adult conversation in my life!! If I kept to solely to writing and playing with trains and barbies all day I might go a little insane (I guess I should say a little more insane then I already am), but I just find writing to be so much a part of me and who I am and when I haven't done if for a while, I crave it.
I've started really thinking about that lately, and how I can use my love for writing as a way to glorify God. I feel like part of why I blog is to express myself while encouraging others and trying my best to clearly point anyone who reads what I write to God.
In my personal life though, I've started to make a connection with writing and my prayers. When I write them, I can clearly see exactly what I'm praying about. I feel like I'm so much more able to clearly say what I feel to God in sort of an organized way and most of all, that I'm praying for the things that I should absolutely be praying for every day. I've found that doing this has in a way freed up what I'm praying for throughout the day. I can be in prayer without thinking to myself, "okay, I should be praying for my husband, and my kids, and this person and that person," because I know that I've already actively prayed for them earlier when I wrote them all down. I'm more free to just pray for little things that come up like... patience in the moment... thinking before I speak... the man on the corner holding a sign... or whatever comes to mind.
It's been pretty amazing. And what's more, is it's been like multitasking. I haven't had the time or energy lately to blog, but I have been finding fulfillment daily in writing about the things that are most dear to me in this life to the one who is most dear to me in this life.
Thanking God today for giving me the ability to write, the ability to pray, and helping me find the connection!
I constantly reflect. Reflect about the past, reflect about the present, and want to make sure that when I look back I have no regrets. Being able to go back and reread my thoughts, what I've written or what has been written to me is so much easier then remembering or replaying a conversation in my head. Words are so easily twisted, changed or left out when reflecting on a verbal convo or confrontation, but when they're right there in front of you on paper or a screen there is no swaying from what was said or wasn't. It's funny too because as I'm writing this I'm shaking my head yes in agreement with myself. I can't help it, I just love to write!
Now don't get me wrong, obviously the world and it's use of media (facebook, text messaging, email, etc.) has gotten a little out of hand. The generation rising up is going to have a lot of relationship issues because they're breaking up and making up all through texts or fb relationship statuses, but this isn't what I'm talking about. Once again ask my husband, he'll tell you, I like to talk too and I can appreciate a face to face conversation. I especially love/need phone calls from my mom and my mommy friends frequently just to get some good ol' adult conversation in my life!! If I kept to solely to writing and playing with trains and barbies all day I might go a little insane (I guess I should say a little more insane then I already am), but I just find writing to be so much a part of me and who I am and when I haven't done if for a while, I crave it.
I've started really thinking about that lately, and how I can use my love for writing as a way to glorify God. I feel like part of why I blog is to express myself while encouraging others and trying my best to clearly point anyone who reads what I write to God.
In my personal life though, I've started to make a connection with writing and my prayers. When I write them, I can clearly see exactly what I'm praying about. I feel like I'm so much more able to clearly say what I feel to God in sort of an organized way and most of all, that I'm praying for the things that I should absolutely be praying for every day. I've found that doing this has in a way freed up what I'm praying for throughout the day. I can be in prayer without thinking to myself, "okay, I should be praying for my husband, and my kids, and this person and that person," because I know that I've already actively prayed for them earlier when I wrote them all down. I'm more free to just pray for little things that come up like... patience in the moment... thinking before I speak... the man on the corner holding a sign... or whatever comes to mind.
It's been pretty amazing. And what's more, is it's been like multitasking. I haven't had the time or energy lately to blog, but I have been finding fulfillment daily in writing about the things that are most dear to me in this life to the one who is most dear to me in this life.
Thanking God today for giving me the ability to write, the ability to pray, and helping me find the connection!
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