Mondays are for Memories - Remembering Lauryn

I've started and stopped writing this blog post about a dozen times this past week. I knew it would be a tough one for me, but I don't think I really knew just how tough it would be. 

I still really have no idea where to start... so let me say this... one of my favorite people in the entire world, left it, 3 years ago this Wednesday.

Lauryn and I met about 9 years ago. I was immediately drawn to her spunky, upbeat personality. She was kind-hearted, yet wasn't going to put up with anyone's crap either (my kind of girl). In a lot of ways I saw a little bit of me in her. 

She started attending Journey's youth group the first year that I started leading a small group for girls. She joined my group and we soon had a "forever friends" kind of bond. I picked her up often to hang out, drink coffee, and talk life. Lauryn was one of the most honest and up front teens I have ever known. If she was going through crap in her life, she told it like it was. If she was struggling with temptation she would openly admit it. And when I called her out, she accepted it with love and made the changes she knew she needed to make because the girl didn't want to rob God of the Glory she knew He deserved. Lauryn was one of the most refreshing young women I have ever met! I could go on and on about the amazing qualities she possessed and still forget a bunch. I honestly loved her like family and saw her as a little sister and, believe me, I would defend her and protect her like one too.  

I have so many fun memories of us laughing until we cried and so many others of us crying until we laughed again. If I only knew then how precious those times we shared together were. I had the honor of seeing her baptism and reading the letter she wrote beforehand to confess her love, acceptance, and need for her Savior. 

I was and still am so very proud of the young woman she was growing up to be. When I attended her high school graduation I cried like a baby and hugged her until her eyes were rolling just like a mom would. At her graduation she read her senior bible verse aloud and I thought it was perfectly fitting to so many of the "life" convos we had together. It was from Isaiah 55 verses 8 & 9. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." She often thought that life wasn't fair, but she was always so willing to except her circumstances, do the best she could, rely on God, and to know that His ways were better than hers. She was wise beyond her years and such a rare "what you see is what you get" kind of girl. 

As she started college and moved out we didn't see each other as often. We were both busy with "life." I was getting married, wrapping up college, buying a house, and starting a family and Lauryn was taking classes, working to pay bills, and growing and discovering who she was as a responsible adult. We still met occasionally and she was still always so honest and straight forward with me (something I absolutely loved about her). 

The last time we met was over coffee at Starbucks. I told her I was pregnant that afternoon and she was so excited for us. She was going through a little bit of a rough time and I could tell she didn't want to disappoint me. I reassured her that she couldn't disappoint me and that "stuff" happens. I just wish I had hugged her a little tighter, told her how much I loved her and how very proud of her I was that last time we said goodbye. 

March 29th, 2008. I can remember it like it was yesterday and yet, sometimes I see it all as a blur. It was a Sunday morning and I was getting ready for church. My cell phone rang and it was one of my best friends, Jill. She was calling to see if I had heard about Lauryn. I had not. Lauryn worked for Chic-fil-A and was helping open a new location in Miami. She worked the week and missed her family so much she decided to drive home on Saturday night even though she had to be back by Monday morning. Jill told me that Lauryn was in a pretty bad car accident while on her way home, was currently on life support, and was not doing well. As far as she knew Lauryn was unresponsive. In my mind, none of that mattered. She was a fighter and was going to make it. I had settled on that. I was shakin' up sure, but not distraught because there was no doubt in my mind that she would pull through. First, I prayed and prayed for God to heal her. Then, I remember calling Julie, another amazing young woman I have had the privilege to lead and told her what happened. She was in countless small groups with Lauryn, shared her room and her heart with Lauryn on summer trips, and loved her very much too. Julie was of course upset too, but like me, felt as though Lauryn was too strong not to make it through. 

I carried on with my day not too worried until that evening, when everything changed. I got the news that even after surgery (to release the pressure on her brain), Lauryn was not responding. Her family had made the tough decision to remove her from life support the next morning. I lost it. I was a mess. I had always been one to hold it together and at least put on a smile until I was in the privacy of my own house, but I was wrecked. I was in shock and denial and I was mad. Mad that it happened and mad that she was not being healed. I was even mad that her family had decided to take her off of life support. I felt like it was too soon, like she just needed some time. I have since realized that her family of course had more information and I'm certain their decision was not without prayerful consideration and guidance. I've changed a lot since those days, I've gained a lot more knowledge about life and that sometimes His will is not our will and like her senior bible verse says, "His ways are not ours." 

Her funeral was on my birthday and while selfishly, I really didn't want it to be on that day, I could not have thought of a better place to be that day then to be celebrating the life of someone amazing. 

Oh how I miss Lauryn and wish we could do lunch tomorrow. She was something special and I will forever remember the amazing young woman she was. 

Five strangers have been blessed with the gift of life through the donation of her organs and anyone who has ever known her will forever be blessed with knowing one pretty incredible girl. 

Lauryn Patterson

May 18, 1988 - March 30, 2008

Mondays are for Memories

Side note: I'm totally slacking here. I've just been so busy being wife/mommy/homemaker/etc... And I actually feel like I'm doing a pretty good job! Chandler Rae is on the move and is INTO EVERYTHING! I can't take my eyes off of the girl for even a second and we've been really trying to be active so we've been spending a lot of time at the park or outside. Amazingly, I've been keeping up with the house work too and for once, I don't feel like it's swallowing me whole! What's more... I actually joined a bible study (yes, that's right folks, I'm doing something for myself)! Even crazier... I've been reading! Do you even know who I am anymore!?! There just hasn't been enough hours in the day for blogging around here, but at the request of one of my fellow SAHMs I'm trying to work it back into the schedule! This is for you girl!

With that being said... Mondays are for memories and today I'm remembering a day when I once served like crazy for the youth at Journey.

Long story short... I didn't grow up in church, but I started attending (and I use the term attending loosely) my freshman year of high school. It wasn't until my Junior year though that I was 100% sold out for God and his plan for my life. I didn't know much about the Bible, but I knew I wanted to be a part of a story bigger than myself and I wasn't looking back! After high school, I got right into serving in elementary and middle school at church and once I entered into my sophomore year of college I started serving the high school youth.

My time as a "high school sponsor" (aka small group leader and someone for the kids to count on and trust) helped mold me into the person I am today. God grew me and used me in ways I never imagined He could. Some of my favorite times came in a tiny little room in the children's wing of our church with a room full of girls sitting in tiny chairs at a little table with Bibles in hand and hearts open. The memories made and talks had will always be in my heart. I will admit, the job was not always easy! I was stretched, challenged, and sometimes exhausted after long nights in group discussing questions about God and life that I sometimes couldn't answer. I was sometimes emotionally drained after road trips and conferences or dealing with the "drama" that can happen in a youth group, I was sometimes disappointed in decisions made and consequences that followed, but I wouldn't trade a second of the time spent with my girls.

It's crazy now to see the journey's they've all taken and are still on. A few are married and a couple, now moms. Some are in college or pursuing their dreams while others are struggling through life still searching for their calling. Some of the girls I'm still close with, when we talk, it's as if we talk everyday. Others I see on facebook and share comments here and there with. More of them than I'd like, I don't see or talk to at all and that makes me sad. One of them is no longer with us and I'm still in shock over her death. I still love and miss her and wish so badly I could tell her how proud of her I was. Some of my girls are still as in love with their Savior as they were years ago and others have walked away or taken a different path in life. Regardless of where they are now or what they're doing now there will always be a place in my heart just for them.

While these days I'm wife, mommy, and homemaker and unable to serve as a sponsor, I still feel I'm a role model to the girls currently in our high school youth group. I'm not able to have late night convos, or lead bible studies or attend most trips, but I feel that I'm showing them how to be a Proverbs 31 woman (or at least how to try). One day my schedule will open up again and I'll be free to lead and serve  and while I miss it so much I know that I'm serving my husband and my children by being the best wife and mommy I can be and I can't get this time with them back!

I'm learning everyday to embrace the season of life I'm in and today I remembered how sweet one season was.

Happy Monday Everyone!

I will hopefully return for more blogging soon. :) Love you, Jill!

Mondays are for Memories on a Friday... [End of the year edition!]

Hello blog world! I have missed you, but I've also been having a blast with family and friends. This has been one of the busiest Christmas seasons of my life. Shoot, it's been the busiest years of my life, but it's also been one of the best! As me and mine wrap up this wonderful year and welcome in a new one, it's always refreshing to reflect on the good and the bad that made our year, "our year."

I rang in 2010 as lame as ever, asleep on the couch, hubby by my side, an 18 month old snoozin' in his crib, and a baby girl growing in my belly! (I have to be honest, I don't think I have successfully made it to mid-night since Landon was born. That will change this year, I've got a date with this hot guy!) It's amazing looking back and to think we had no idea what a year we would have! 

We put our house on the market in 2009, got an offer and were scheduled to close in April 2010, so we knew we had better find a new place before baby #2 entered the world. We found that place in early January and moved in at the end of the month. Let's just say I never want to move again! (We probably will in a year or two though, we need more space. Hopefully, it will be the last move until the kids are grown!) Our new house is great. All on one level which with a toddler and another on the way was a much better situation for us. It's also in a great neighborhood on a golf course so it's fun for Landon and Daddy to go searching for balls at night. I also love that it's walking distance to 3 parks and a library and much more central to where we "do" life. There really are so many reasons why I like this house better and the more houses we've lived in the more I know what I want and don't want in our dream house.

In February, friends of ours put on a fabulous baby shower for us! We are so blessed to have to many who love us and our children! In addition to getting a wardrobe for little Miss Chandler, about half of the people including me also caught the terrible stomach bug going around. 1 day later I ended up at Winnie Palmer in labor barley 32 weeks pregnant. Praise God they were able to stop the labor, but I was put on bed rest for the next 5 weeks (when our little peanut arrived). Those 5 weeks were crazy, but also a time when God showed me so much about letting others help and just how blessed we are to have such an amazing family, selfless friends, and a body of believers who fed us for weeks!  

April 1st, 2010 Chandler Rae Sanders came into our world. She was 6lbs, 12 ounces, and 20 inches of beautiful baby girl! Apirl 4th was her first Easter and on April 5th I turned "the big" 26. The very next day Landon was admitted to Arnold Palmer Hospital with severe strider caused by croup. He stayed over night with Daddy at his side. It was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. My baby boy needed me, but now so did my baby girl and since I was nursing her and she was only 6 days old, I had to stay with her. We couldn't bring her into a hospital around sick children. My mom did watch her for a couple hours so I could visit my sweet boy, but it seriously broke my heart leaving him there! It's a good thing my man is super Dad! He took good care of Landon and they were home the next day. That could be a contender for one of the craziest weeks of my life! 

The summer was great! After a few months of go with the flow, we finally began to get adjusted to having to having 2 kids!! The summer also brought lots of swim days, play dates, Disney days, and trips to the park (when it wasn't too hot out). Landon turned 2 in July which still seems so crazy to me and that same week Matt took the youth group to Alabama for 5 days. Amazingly, I survived without him (thank you Lizzy for staying with us)!! 

The fall brought in lots of firsts for Chandler. First Halloween (and all the first that brings on [trip to the pumpkin patch, the farm, and Sea World's Spooktackular]) and her first Thanksgiving. Beyond all of the firsts that the calendar brings she started eating real food, using a sippy cup, and sitting up like a big girl! As for Landon this is the first year where he really enjoyed carving pumpkins and eating the seeds, doing lots of holiday crafts, and of course eating all of the yummy treats too!

In November, Matt and I celebrated 5 years of wedded bliss. I am so thankful and proud to call him my husband and so blessed that God gave him to me! Matt, thank you for loving me even when it's not easy!! You make our lives so much fun! Landon and Chandler are so lucky to have such an amazing daddy! Here's to the next 50!

December has probably been one of my favorite months of the year! Landon was so into Christmas this year. He helped me decorate the tree and the house and he totally gets that Christmas is about Jesus and not just presents. He sang happy birthday to him and loved reading The Christmas Story over and over again. He's also excited that his middle name is Joseph just like Jesus' daddy! December has also been a big month for Chandler. She's got some teeth now and she's mobile too! I have never taken the Christmas tree down before January 1... until this year!!  The girl would've taken that thing down if we let her. Landon and Chandler are really starting to play together too. Chandler thinks he is pretty darn funny and while Landon sometimes has a difficult time sharing toys he still gives lots of kisses to his "sissy." He also loves to rub her back and pat her head. More than ever I feel like a family of 4. Chandler doesn't seem like such a baby anymore and it feels like we're really starting to get the hang of this 2 kids thing!

Today is December 31st, the last day of 2010! 

What a year it has been, but I can't wait for the adventure that is waiting for us in 2011! 

Cheers 2010, it's been real! 

*What's really funny is I actually started writing this on Tuesday, but I haven't had time to finish because we've been busy deciding if we were going to MOVE again or not. An opportunity came up for us to move into a house with a yard and a 3rd bedroom, but after much thought and prayer we decided to stay where we are since we already love where we live. We also decided that this year we're going to focus on each other and our kids and that moving would only STRESS us out! The whole thing has motivated us though to start getting rid of anything we don't use or wear anymore so that moving in the future will be easy. I love it when life throws you curve balls! 

Mondays are for Memories

Last week (on December 4th) Chandler got her first tooth and if that wasn't enough to say, "hey, mom, I'm growing up," she also started scoot crawling the very next day! She's squealing mama, dada, and baba all the time (which see started at 7 months) and is sitting up like a pro! It's crazy to me that she's already 8 & 1/2 months old, but what's even crazier to me is that her brother is almost 2 & 1/2!! I can't remember what Landon was like at Chandler's age. It all became a blur once he started walking. And so... this Monday I'm trying my best to remember my boy as a baby! 

Landon came into our world on July 9, 2008. While my pregnancy was easy, my labor and delivery was  PAINFUL, and I mean PAINFUL! Landon was a great baby from the start. He was always such a happy boy and never really cried unless he was hungry or over-tired. Fortunately for me, he was a great sleeper. Landon slept through the night at only 3 months old and fell into a nap schedule by 6 months! Now, don't get me wrong there were lots of "drive around because I can't get this child to sleep" naps, but for the most part he was a great sleeper (especially when you compare his first 8 months to his sister's)!  Beyond learning the basics of mommyhood from Landon, I learned so much from my little boy about what was truly important in life. He was such a cuddly baby and he clung to his mommy and daddy! Landon was my little eater too! By 4 months he was on a bottle and eating baby food 3 times a day. Personality wise not much has changed. He's always been a people person. He loved (and still does love) to entertain! Behavior wise, Landon was (and still is) my good little boy. He's got a conscious about him and has always wanted to make sure no one is mad at him. For the most part a simple warning was all it would take for him to make the right choice and this is still true today!

I'm terrible when it comes to memory books. My wedding book, pregnancy books, and both my kids baby books are incomplete, but looking back at his baby book full of sticky notes I was able to gather some of these important dates from his first 2 years.

2 weeks old - July 23 - Rolled over - In his Pack-n-play in the Living room with Mommy
4 weeks old - First real smiles at Mommy and Daddy
6 weeks - Giggles with Mommy and Daddy
6 months (almost 7) - February 1 & 2 - First Tooth (bottom right) & Second Tooth (bottom left)
6 months (almost 7) - February 8, 2009 - Baby Dedication - At Journey Christian Church
7 months - February 17 - Crawled backwards about 10 feet with Mommy and Great Grandma at Home
7 months (almost 8) - March 7 - Sat up all by himself - At home with Mommy and Daddy
8 months - March 11 - Said Mama and Papa in the car with Mommy and Mimi
8 months - March 16 -  Began Army Crawling with Mommy at home (3/17 he showed Daddy)
8 months - April 1 - Both top teeth came in (2 years later his sister would be born)
9 months - April 18 - Landon's first kiss (Avalon)
9 months - April 20 - Landon said Dada
13 months - August 14 - First Haircut - At The Harmony Barber Shop at Walt Disney World
14 months (almost 15) - Landon started walking

By this point I was already 2 month pregnant with Chandler and the morning sickness had kicked in. Unfortunately. I really stopped keeping track of specific dates but I can tell you that he moved into a big boy bed around 18 months, he started talking up a storm around 20 months, and he became a big boy at 21 months when his baby sister was born and we realized just how big our boy was!

As for Chandler Rae I have some specific dates, but hardly any exacts. I know she started eating baby food around 5 months, was sitting up by 7 months, was saying Mama, Dada, and Baba by 7 & 1/2 months. I'm going to make an effort to try and write some more of this stuff down! We've got one of those "first year calendar" that I started doing, but now I can't find it, of course.

Here are some pictures of my sweet boy Landon in his first year of life!

And here's my big boy now! 

Mondays are for Memories

Today I will hopefully remember what it is like to have a clean room. I hope to remember what it feels like to have all of the clean clothes that have been scattered all over our room for weeks put away!

So peace out peeps. I'm on a mission to remember what that feels like!

Happy Monday! And happy cleaning to anyone on the mission with me. :)

Mondays are for Memories - Shotgun Wedding Part II

This week is part II of memories from my wedding day. If you missed part I, you can click here.


Last week I left you hanging. We had 3 days to plan our big day and not a clue where to start. The first thing we did was call our family and friends to let them know to clear their schedules for Saturday. Then we began making arrangements. We called around a couple of places to see if they had any availability and after a few calls and no leads, we decided on the back patio at our church . The guest list was short, immediate family and close friends, so this was the perfect setting. We also decided that instead of having a traditional reception that we'd go out to eat. Our first pick was O'hana at the Polynesian Resort at Disney, but they were booked. Our second choice, Boma at The Animal Kingdom Lodge was available, so we quickly booked a table for 25. I called an old friend's mom who is a florist and she was able to put together a couple of bouquets and boutonnieres for us.  We bought an runner, rose petals, some Christmas lights to put in the trees, and a wedding ring and suit for Matt. Matt's Grandma gave me her wedding ring to use until we could find one that matched my engagement ring (since then we have not been able to find one we like better then the one she let us use and she has so graciously given it to me). I made a hair and nail appointment and bought a dress to wear to the dinner. Other than that we really had nothing else to do but wait for Saturday! 


The Friday before all of our friends joined us for dinner at The Cheese Cake Factory and because our wedding was so small we didn't have a rehearsal. Matt and I hugged goodbye that night and didn't see each other again until I walked down the aisle. 


Everything was perfect that day! My hair turned out right, the bouquets were beautiful, the weather was gorgeous, and the sky the perfect shade of pink as the sun set that evening. I wouldn't have changed a thing and never looked back at our original wedding plans. We had a blast at dinner with our friends and family and a beautiful couple of days together at Disney. We stayed at the Contemporary and spent the day at the parks. In April of 2006 we had a huge reception where we showed the video of our wedding and shared the story of why we pushed the wedding up. (I think some people still think we are hiding a child somewhere, we're not!) One year later we took at 7 day cruise on the Freedom of the Seas and had a blast! 


It's hard to believe it was 5 years ago and here we are 3 houses and 2 kids later. While so much has changed in our day to day lives, so much is still the same. We love each other and are still as committed as we were the day we said "I do." 

Here are some of the pictures from our big day. Sorry for the low resolution. I couldn't find the digital pictures and our scanner was taking FOREVER to scan them in a high resolution. These should do.

My Daddy walked me down.

This is my favorite picture from the entire wedding.

 

Our families.

Me with Jill (Oh, what would I do with out this girl).

Mitch married us and Jayci was my Matron of Honor.

Us with Mike (3 of the original Fab 5).

Me and Jessi (We've known each other for almost 15 years. She's one of the best friends I've ever had.)

Jill caught it and got engaged less than a month later!

It's legal!  

Going through the bag of inappropriate items our friends picked up for us. 

Chowing down at Boma. 

They made us some yummy treats since we didn't have a wedding cake. 

We had no idea they were going to do this for us!

Yes, we were those people who wore those hats! We still have them and Landon likes to wear them now.

Our cruise! 

Hope you enjoyed !!

Here's to the rest of our lives! I'm in!

*Disclaimer: Once again my editor (Matt) is asleep next to me, so I apologize for any typos! I could read this 100 times and miss them all. 

Mondays are for Memories - Shotgun Wedding

This week I'm remembering one of the best weeks of my life! 

On Friday, Matt and I will be celebrating 5 years of wedded bliss and there is quite the story behind our big day. It's so fun for me to share it and to remember it, so this week I'm pretty excited to be blogging about it! 

Matt and I met in our youth group my sophomore year of high school [his freshman year] which puts us back oh, only about 12 years ago. I have to be honest... I wasn't exactly a fan! In fact, I thought he was a stuck up little punk. To be fair, he wasn't entirely into me either. He swears, I was goth [I was absolutely not goth] and I guess you could say I wasn't really his type either. To make a long story short, after we really got to know each other we became best friends. Eventually, that friendship grew into something a lot strong and the summer before my senior year he asked me to be his girlfriend. [Awww right?]

I always knew I'd marry Matt and after almost 4 years of dating he proposed on April 9, 2005 [total shocker too, I didn't see it coming, but that story will have to wait for another blog]. I was to say the very least, SOOOO excited. After I got a manicure, we started planning the big day! 

By the end of the summer we had the entire thing planned. Our destination wedding was set for June 3, 2006 at The King and Prince Resort in St. Simons Island. The time was set for 10:00am and the brunch menu was something to drool over! The reception room [The Solarium] was absolutely gorgeous [so elegant and polished] and the view of the ocean was like the perfect touch to an already stunning room! If you really want to see it all you can check it out here http://www.kingandprince.com/weddings.php. Deposits had been paid, save the dates had been sent out, and the wedding dress had been purchased, little did I know God had planned a very different wedding for us.

It all started in October when Matt's parents decided to sell their house for something smaller. They put their house on the market, sold it with in a few days, and bought something in Lake County. After a lot of thought, we decided that Matt would need to get an apartment closer to his job and to where we wanted to live after we got married and so we started the searching process. We found a winner, put our deposit down, and were set to move Matt in December 9th [how I remember all these dates is besides me, but I do]. This was all still 6 months before the wedding!

We were having a lot of trouble with the whole concept of Matt having an apartment [which would become our apartment] and me wanting to stay there, but with us not being married we knew it was something that couldn't happen. We began tossing around the idea of getting married legally on paper and living together in separate rooms until the wedding, so that the white dress held true to it's meaning. Then we decided we didn't like that idea. We also thought about maybe pushing the wedding up, but we couldn't figure out how that would work with Thanksgiving and Christmas, finals for me and the start of a new school for Matt. Plus, there were no open weekends available at The King and Prince, so that option was out. It was all getting to be a little insane. Can you say bridezilla?

Matt left for a conference in Nashville and on this day 5 years ago while he was gone he called me and said, "Why don't we just get married on Saturday?" Uhhh, what??? I was at a basketball game, could hardly hear him, and did not like the idea since, HELLO we already had our dream wedding planned! I was also a little bit skeptical because I thought maybe this idea came from the guys he was with and I didn't like it! My exact words to him were, "Are you serious?? Who have you been talking to?!" I told him we'd talk about it later on that night, when I picked him and the boys up at the airport and talk we did. Around 3am, we finally decided that we WERE going to get married that Saturday. We didn't know where or any of the details, but we were getting married in less than a week [oh, and one of those days was Thanksgiving].

To say the least, we had a lot to do and only 3 days to do it all! And we did, but you'll have to wait until next Monday to read how it all went down and see all the pictures from our big day!

To be continued!

Mondays are for Memories

Okay, so this Monday I'm remembering what it is like to spend some time with my husband and to go to bed in a room without a baby waiting for us in a pack-n-play! 

Tonight we began the process of letting Chandler learn how to self-sooth [in her crib] in the kids room. The kids share a room, but we have yet to put her in there because well, it's crazy to think that a 2 year old and a 7 month old could share a room, but... it's time and they can! We need our room back and I'm sick of glaring and shhhhing at my husband every night when we go to bed. It is a fact men don't know how to be quiet and to be honest they shouldn't have to be in their own bedroom! Thanks for putting up with me all these months, Matt! It's definitely been weighing on both of us having her in there and she really is waking up every night when we go to bed! 

As much as I swore that I learned my lesson [with Landon] when it comes to rocking a baby to sleep, I must not have because I let this go on a lot longer with Chander than I did with Landon. Landon was 6 months when we started letting him self sooth (a.k.a cry and torture ourselves) and even though I dreaded it, it only took a few nights and he never ever cried more than 10 minutes. The first time we let him cry [was for a nap] he slept for 2 and 1/2 hours (before this, he was taking like 30 minute naps and was sooo over tired all the time). He was also night waking or just waking up way too early, but after we started the self soothing, he began sleeping great and his time awake was happy time because he wasn't over tired. 

Chandler and Landon are very differnt. She's a lot more persistent then him and much more of a mama's girl. I also nursed her up until 2 weeks ago [when I hurt my back and had to go on some serious meds] so she was still night waking to eat (mostly out of habit) and she wasn't napping well. Since she's been on formula she's been taking great naps, but I've still be rocking her to sleep for them. Her nights have not be good though. She's been waking up a lot and only wants me! We're not night feeding her anymore, so I had to rely on rocking her, patting her butt, and/or shhhhing, but last night she wasn't having any of it. She was ready to party and I was helpless. What's crazy is the first few months of her life, I didn't rock her at all, I would lay her down and for the most part she'd be out no problem, but things have changed. With two, it became easier for me to just rock her, know she was asleep, and move on to taking care of Landon or the house, or for me to lay down and catch some zzzzzzz too! 

Last night was the decider in the "time for self soothing" decision. It was the worst night we've had since she's been born and she's 7 and 1/2 months old! For a while there, she was sleeping though the night, but for about the past 4 nights it's been ROUGH! 

So tonight I was dreading it, but we did our night time routine, I rocked her her chair for a couple of minutes, kissed her, and laid her down in her crib. She laughed at me, spit her paci out, and started rolling around. Her tune changed when I told her I loved her, that she needed to go to sleep, and walked out. She cried and cried hard for about 20 minutes. I went in about every 5 minutes and told her that we loved her and that we'd see her tomorrow and to sleep she went. I have to admit I thought I might have to leave the house if she kept it up, but it worked and she's still out! Praise God! 

Here's to a good night sleep and a room to ourselves!! 

MMMBop!- Mondays are for Memories

In a world where Titanic topped the box office and Tamagotchi pets were a must have accessory, there was a girl in 7th grade who fell in love with the pop group, Hanson. (I know, I know!)

In April of 1997 the single MMMBop was released and my world would never be the same. You could say I was (a little) obsessed with the lead singer of the band. My walls were covered with Taylor posters and every night you better believe I was listening to the Hot 9 at Nine on XL. Teen magazines, Bop and Tiger Beat were must haves and I was begging my parents to take me to Best Buy to get my hands on the album Middle of Nowhere as soon as it was released!

Wow. Who would've thought that 13 years later I'd be sitting at Epcot with my husband and TWO children reminiscing about those times!

Last night, Hanson preformed at Epcot's Food and Wine Festival and we were so there! We got to the park, took the kids to see Mickey and to ride Nemo, and then we booked it over to get a good seat! Right away though I was feeling out of place. As I sat there surrounded by grown woman in there twenties and thirties, some wearing Hanson shirts, others wasted and clinching their cameras to get a snap off as soon as the band hit the stage, I realized I'm all grown up, and I'm pretty sure that's a good thing! When the boys came out and got to singing I had to admit I began questioning my sanity at the age of 13. In my mind back then, I was going to marry Taylor Hanson. Last night, I was glad I married Matt! It's funny how much things can change in 13 years!

Oh yeah! Rocking out! You can hardly see them, but they are there!

The boys put on a good show and I resisted singing along for at least half of it, but man, I felt like a nerd! At one point, and I kid you not, I looked over my shoulder to see about 5 woman doing a choreographed dance to one of the songs. In the middle of it, one of them actually had to stop to discipline one of their children! Are you serious?! At that point, I looked at Matt and down at my kids and decided it was time to get out of there!

While I had a great time last night, it wasn't because I got to see my teen heart throb. I had a great time because I got to spend a fun night out with my family.

If only we could know then what we know now! But we can't! And so for all you Beiber fans out there... rest assured that you can rock out to him on the Epcot stage in about 13 years and realize how silly you were over a decade ago.

Cheers!

Mondays are for Memories

*Warning: this is a long one, but I couldn't help it. 

Today is November 1st! I can hardly believe that my baby girl, Chandler Rae, is 7 months old today! I finally got started on her baby book and her 1st year calendar last week (took me long enough, I know) and so I thought I would take this Monday to remember my pregnancy, labor and delivery, and my sweet baby girl's first 7 months of life! 

We found out we were pregnant on August 10th, 2009, just 1 month and 1 day after our boy Landon Joseph turned 1! Crazy right? 

Landon loving him some cake at his first birthday! 

My pregnancy with Chandler was rough!! I was constantly nauseous and threw up frequently! I didn't even start gaining weight until almost the 3rd trimester (but don't worry, I packed it on after the puking stopped). 

We found out we were having a girl on November 17th. I was 18 weeks pregnant. We were stoked! Matt could not wait to have a little princess! 

It's a girl!

This is the first outfit we bought for her. She is our Princess!

Here is her profile.

20 weeks pregnant. Landon is giving his sister a kiss. 

26 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Landon was 18 months here. 

Good friends of ours put on a "sprinkle" for us at our church on February 21st, I was 31 weeks pregnant. Unfortunately, I am waiting on the photos from my sprinkle, so I have none to share, but I hope to have them soon. I'll throw them in here when they come! 

Two days after my sprinkle, I was admitted to Winnie Palmer Hospital with a stomach virus. I was so dehydrated that I was (to my surprise) in early labor. When they hooked me up to the machines my contractions where pretty intense and it turns out I was already 3cm! The fluid that surrounded Chandler was low, which is one of the reasons I had Landon 3 weeks early. That would have to be monitored the remainder of my pregnancy. When the doctor told me that they were going to have to admit me, I had a major breakdown. Landon and Matt were both at home sick with the stomach virus too and my boys needed me! (I think it was God preparing me for what was to come. With a newborn and a one year old, I had to learn to let other people help and to let go of my need to control it all!) I was moved to the 5th floor where they gave me some serious drugs to stop labor. I have to say it was probably the most painful experience I've ever had (aside from having natural labor with Landon)! My Mom stayed at the hospital with me and took care of me the way mommies do and Matt became super Dad for Landon. Fortunately, I was discharged in 2 days, but put on bed rest until I was at least 37 weeks! Yes, bed rest with a 1 year old! It was not an easy task to say the least! I wanted to take care of my boys and our home (especially since we had just moved into a new house less then a month before my big hospital sleepover). What I had to learn very quickly was that I would love Chandler just as much as I loved Landon and that if rest was what I had to do to keep her safe, then rest is what I would do!! Luckily, I have a great husband, amazing family and friends, and a very generous church family to take care of me through it all. I could not have done it with out their prayers, love, visits, meals, and support!! 

Landon liked to decorate my belly. Here, he is putting stickers on it. 

35 Weeks and counting! I was exhausted! 

The weeks passed by and I was having lots of contractions! Every night I would wake up with them and think it was time to go, but then they would stop and back to sleep we would go. At my 37 week appointment I went in hoping that it might be go time. I had Landon at 37 weeks, so in my mind that was when I would have Chandler too. After a long morning of monitoring her and checking my fluid, the doctor decided it was safer for her to be out than to be in, so off to Winnie Palmer we went!! We were so excited!! My mom and dad were on Landon duty for the next couple of days so we had no worries about him, but of course we were going to miss him too! 

We got into our room around 4pm. I was given pitocin shortly there after, and progressed to 6 cm within a couple of hours. The doctor on duty decided that since I was only 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant that he would like for me to make it to 37 weeks exactly, so he slowed down the pitocin. His plan didn't stop my labor though! My water broke when I got up to walk around and I moved to 8cm! At that point my contractions were getting intense, but I still kept thinking to myself, I can do this. It wasn't in my "labor plan" to go natural, but my epidural didn't work with Landon, so I already knew what I was in for. I stayed at 8cm for an hour and decided around 11pm that if I didn't have to feel the pain anymore, I didn't want to! It was epidural time for me! The epidural actually worked this time around and so quickly that it threw me into a panic attack. I was so numb (duh, that is what is supposed to happen), but it freaked me out. My blood pressure started dropping, and I began to dry heave. My nurse gave me some oxygen and I was able to calm down. Within 20 minutes of all that, I began to feel some pressure, but it was nothing like what I felt with Landon, so I figured it was nothing. I laid back and closed my eyes and about 20 minutes later I decided I should maybe call the nurse. She came in, checked me, and her exact words were, "okay, close your legs please, your baby is falling out, do not sneeze, do not cough." I was pretty surprised by this considering with Landon I called my nurse in and pretty much told her to get the baby out NOW! I knew it was time with him and there was an urgency to get him out! Chandler was a whole different ball game and I have to admit, it was awesome! The nurse called in the baby team and my mid-wife (they didn't have time to get a doctor, but the mid-wife was 100% better than my doctor with Landon anyway). My mid-wife had me push for a few seconds and stop and then push for a few more seconds and stop and out came Chandler Rae Sanders at 12:32am. She was 6lbs 12 oz and 20 inches long. She was born exactly 3 weeks early just like her big brother. 

Oh please take more pictures of me, Matt. I know I look great. Yeah, right!

There she is. No pain at all! 

As soon as I heard her cry, I could breath again!

Daddy with his Princess.

In love, all over again.

Our new family of 4!

I have to say over all the second time around is so much easier! My labor and delivery was a breeze compared to the first time and as far as taking care of a baby, we already knew what we were doing. The first few weeks at home where challenging though. Just figuring out how to take care of not one, but two children and our home as well, not to mention myself took some getting used to. One of the hardest experiences I have gone through as a mother happened when Chandler was 6 days old. Landon of course, caught a cold and it turned into croupe. At Chandler's 1 week check up, the doctor advised us to take Landon to be admitted to Arnold Palmer Hospital for treatment. The croupe had turned into strider and was causing Landon to have a hard time breathing. I had to drop my boys off and take Chandler home since we didn't want a brand new baby sitting in a hospital full of sickies. It broke my heart to leave him, but he was in good hands with Daddy and again, I think it was God once again preparing me for what was to come with a new baby and a toddler.

 As the weeks go by, it only gets easier and easier. Chandler is now sitting up, eating baby food, taking baths with Landon, and SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT! (When I wrote that last part I sang it in my head because it is such a glorious statement!) I'm also giving her bottles too now since she has become little miss nosey and doesn't want to be covered up anymore! Life with two kiddos definitely has it's moments, but I wouldn't trade it for anything! Here is just a glimpse of Chandler's first 7 months...

Landon giving sissy some love just 2 days before he was admitted to the hospital. He wasn't even sick yet. 

What do you think, tired much?

Chandler's first bath.

Daddy is in love.

Rocking her sweet bow!

I don't think they could love each other anymore than they already do!

Sweet girl.

Chandler's first trip to the beach.

Happy 7 months baby girl!! We love you and could not imagine life without you!